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Just need to have a brief whinge:
I hate feeling guilty about spending money. Whywhywhy do I? It's my money and it's my call. And it's not like I spend it all on junk, I buy necessary-to-life items too, like cleaning supplies and milk and deodorant.
So why do I feel guilty about buying CDs or books or DVDs? About spending the money on fun things while I still can, before I have to become a Real Grownup with Real Bills To Pay?
Give me a chance and it's amazing how much self-loathing I can work up over spending twenty-six bucks on things I was going to buy eventually anyway. I'm not as happy as I seem. I'm just good at sucking it up, especially online where no one can see my real face anyway. Even in real life I go for passive aggression rather than expressing real anger or hurt, so I think it surprises people when I do get truly upset.
Oops, just lost my train of thought. Just as well, I'm minutes from the end of my computer session anyway. I'm sure I shall go back to my usual cheer in my next entry. But that will be real too. When I post happy things, it's because I am happy.
I hate feeling guilty about spending money. Whywhywhy do I? It's my money and it's my call. And it's not like I spend it all on junk, I buy necessary-to-life items too, like cleaning supplies and milk and deodorant.
So why do I feel guilty about buying CDs or books or DVDs? About spending the money on fun things while I still can, before I have to become a Real Grownup with Real Bills To Pay?
Give me a chance and it's amazing how much self-loathing I can work up over spending twenty-six bucks on things I was going to buy eventually anyway. I'm not as happy as I seem. I'm just good at sucking it up, especially online where no one can see my real face anyway. Even in real life I go for passive aggression rather than expressing real anger or hurt, so I think it surprises people when I do get truly upset.
Oops, just lost my train of thought. Just as well, I'm minutes from the end of my computer session anyway. I'm sure I shall go back to my usual cheer in my next entry. But that will be real too. When I post happy things, it's because I am happy.