INCOHERENT POST INCOMING BECAUSE GUESS WHAT KIDS JUSTIN VERLANDER JUST THREW A NO HITTER.
No. Fucking. Hitter. I would like to cordially invite all the people who went on about a sophomore slump to FUCKING SUCK IT.
I am just crazed. After Curt's game last week, I was amped to eleven. I spent much of the game playing Kingdom of Loathing
and just listening to the Detroit broadcast. Until the top of the eighth, when I realized I didn't know how many hits the Brewers had gotten and went to go check.
NONE THAT'S HOW MANY.
It took me a minute to even register that. And man, I'm glad I hadn't noticed before, because I was instantly so nervous I thought I might throw up.
So I immediately went right the fuck back to playing KoL and listening. As IF I was going to change a single thing I was doing. Stopping to watch the game would have been DEATH.
And Rod and Mario! The Detroit announcers! I could kiss them both right on the mouth for keeping said mouths the fuck shut
. They talked about Justin's Ks (twelve!! by the time the game was over) and THAT WAS IT. No dancing around the subject, and sure as shit no saying the fucking words
. Professionals all the way. After listening to the Boston radio announcers jinx Curt to hell and back - god bless Rod and Mario.
And LOVE for Neifi Perez. He executed an outstanding play to start a doubleplay that just narrowly
- by one step - prevented a hit in the eight. BLESS. I love you Neifi and shall defend you and your black hole bat of doom forthwith, because that no hitter dies in the eighth without you.
And the offense, especially crazy-ass Brandon Inge with his two RBI, for scoring enough runs to give everyone one less thing to worry about.
And JUSTIN! What do I even say? One hundred twelve pitches. Twelve Ks. Four walks (enough to keep from feeling cheated out of perfection). AND NO FUCKING HITS. Justin Verlander, you have been one of my favorite pitches since you came up. This was an amazing experience. Thank you. Now go get blasted on your teammates' nickels, kid. You've more than earned it.
Final score: 4-0 Tigers. And their first no hitter since 1984. And I am totally not misting up at all.