(no subject)

I've been up for less than an hour and I've already cried more over Theo than I did over the Astros. (Of course, I'm still planning a 'Stros overview, and I'll probably cry more when I write it, but still. Still.)

I can't think of any way in which this is not just the worst thing that could possibly have happened. And now I need a new pin for my Red Sox cap. Or I could just wear the "Theo Epstein is my president" one defiantly for a while. I don't know. It probably depends on how soon I can get out to Newbury's for a proper replacement.

(no subject)

Ugh. I keep having the realization, over and over again, that Theo is gone. One minute I know it perfectly well, and then I'll read a phrase or think of it a little differently or blink at my Theo pin and the shock hits all over again.

STUPID BRAIN ACCEPT IT ALREADY. I really don't need the load of bricks dumped on my head more than once, thanks. Theo is gone Theo is gone Theo is GONE, dammit, let's embrace the knowledge or whatever. I'm not saying move on, just - know it and keep knowing it. Accept it as fact. Quit carrying on like someone fucking died.