(no subject)

I finally got to see Gigli. It does not disappoint. It is as stupid and pointless as everyone says. Affleck may finally have succeeded in making a movie worse than Armageddon. Well, either that or it's been so long since I last watched Armageddon that the pain is beginning to heal.

Moments to watch for in Gigli:

* The main characters spend approximately five years waxing poetic about their respective genetalia. Well, you don't have to watch for this moment, I guess. It's kinda hard to miss.

* The one single solitary moment when you are actually impressed with Jennifer Lopez's character (as she sadistically describes the horrific effects of a martial arts move that doesn't actually exist, and Lopez herself does a damn fine job with the delivery) is completely ruined as, rather than walking away, she lingers to to act like a total dork.

* Christopher Walken and Al Pacino appear in cameos; the best part of Walken's role is that it has NO FURTHER BEARING ON THE PLOT. You'll have to see the movie to understand why this merits all caps.

Dear Christopher Walken,

. . . what?! WHY?! Please tell me blackmail was involved.



Dear Al Pacino,

I liked you better when you were overacting in The Devil's Advocate.



Sigh. Shall post a bit more tomorrow, I hope.