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Okay, this? Is wicked long. So there are multiple cuts to organize things a bit.
Oh, the brawl. Oh the brawl oh the brawl. I don't even know how many times I've watched it by now, and I am still as giddy as can be. It's so funny, because in real life I'm a pacifist and all anti-violence and shit, but in baseball life? FIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT! And I cannot imagine that I'll see a finer brawl any time soon.
Before the exhaustive blow-by-blow - MLBTV has made footage of the brawl available from both the Detroit and Kansas City feeds. The Detroit feed is the one used for the Top Plays clip, and the KC feed is the actual game in its entirety. I watched the KC one once to hear what their announcers would have to say, but as far as the brawl itself, there wasn't really enough difference in footage to bother watching it more than once, since finding it is a pain in the ass. So, the below account is what I got out of watching the Detroit feed.
Okay. Here's how it happened.
There were a billion HBPs in the game; there had been, I think, three by the time Carlos Guillen was at bat in the bottom of the sixth. Two had been from Runelvys Hernandez, and one (possibly in retaliation) from Mike Maroth, at which point a warning was issued.
Hernandez opens the at bat by hitting Guillen in the foot. It just barely connected, but a hit's a hit, so Guillen tosses his bat aside and backs toward first base, watching the ump and waiting for him to call it an HPB so he can take his base. Except that Marty Foster is blind as shit and tells Guillen to get back in the batter's box. (Good one, Marty. You, Gibson, Guccione, McClelland . . . God, the umpiring sucks this year.) Guillen argues, Alan Trammell goes out to argue, but it's no use, so the at bat continues.
For about three seconds, until Hernandez nails Guillen right in the helmet and sends him to the ground. I usually like to give the benefit of the doubt on these things - how am I to know what was in the pitcher's head, right? But the circumstances and the smooth trajectory of the pitch make it damn clear that he threw at Guillen's head deliberately. There is absolutely no way that was an accident.
Guillen, of course, objects, and Foster and the catcher get in there to hold him back. And just in case there is any doubt left as to Hernandez's intentions, he comes toward Guillen to start a fight. Why would he do that if it had been an accident?
So this causes all hell to break loose. The benches empty and everyone's on the field. And Jeremy Bonderman, whom I love liek wo and even more now, is the most livid of them all. The Tigers third base coach, Juan Samuel, is holding him back, and Bondo's trying hard as he can to fight Samuel off. Samuel hangs on, though, and once or twice (that the camera shows) he actually lifts Bondo up off the ground to turn him back toward the dugout. Bondo's no little boy, dude. He's six foot two and two hundred twenty pounds. Samuel is one strong guy.
Meanwhile, people are holding Guillen back, too. The Tigers bullpen races out to join the action, in an absolutely gorgeous shot that looks almost choreographed for a movie, it's so cool. Samuel hands care of Bondo over to Dmitri Young.
Things seem to be calming down; Guillen is chilling out a little, Bondo does not need Dmitri to grab him, there's a glimpse of Pudge talking someone (Hernandez? It's just a guess based on the hair) down.
And then, Hernandez points at Guillen and says something. And suddenly there are five guys hanging on to Bondo, including Dmitri and Craig Monroe. And the Farns? Oh, the Farns is not happy.
Then - I don't know what happened. The conclusion seems to be that the Royals bullpen was mouthing off, but that's speculation - it's impossible to tell what set the Farns off and sent him toward Affeldt specifically. But it did.
Because the Farns is ready, the Farns is having to be held back by Lance Parrish, but the Farns is not having any of that shit, and he shakes Parrish off and races around the edge of the crowd right to Jeremy Affeldt.
And he bends down, lifts Affeldt right up, and slams him down to the ground, going down along with him.
There is then lots of chaos which includes half the guys on each team jumping onto Farnworth and Affeldt - it's remarkable that those two weren't badly hurt. That breaks up fairly quickly. We see Samuel still patiently clinging, lamprey-like, to Bondo. That guy should get a medal. It's quite possible that he prevented some major damage to our young ace. We see Matt Stairs, the Royals right fielder, talking to the Farns and calming him down, and that is so random that they must have played together at point. We see the Farns pull open the collar of his jersey and lookhot pissed, but pretty much done with the piledriving people.
And it all looks pretty much done; there is an almost-scuffle with Parrish and Royals catcher Alberto Castillo, but they're pulled apart quickly and one of the umps shoves Castillo toward the dugout. Heh.
Once the dust has settled, there are the following ejections: Hernandez, of course; the Farns, also of course; Bondo, which makes sense to me because damn he tried his best to get in there; Guillen, because how dare he react to being hit in the head; the Royals manager Buddy Bell, presumably because of the warning that had been issues; and Royals guy Emil Brown, because WTF? What did he do? Does anyone know?
And all that's just the brawl itself. The experience, at least with the Detroit feed, is enhanced by the commentary. (I wasn't so impressed with the KC feed, although I did enjoy how even they couldn't pretend that the HBP was an accident, and how one of them was trying his hardest not to openly admire the Farns. Hee.) Rod Allen and Mario Impemba are fun to listen to any day, because Rod says incredibly bizarre things and Mario pretends that he doesn't. I've come to like them as much as I like Jerry and Don.
But their commentary for the brawl is fantastic. They are absolutely flabbergasted, without words at times, and they really want to be in the middle of it, and it's pretty hilarious to listen to. So here, under the cut, are some choice quotes from our boys.
Mario: "Any way you slice that, that is a cheap, cheap shot when you come at someone's helmet."
Rod: "I guess he took offense to the fact that Guillen was goin' down to first base."
Mario: "Get Bonderman out of there too, we don't need to get him hurt." This is funny because later, Rod says about the Farns, "You better get him outta there, he'll hurt somebody." Heh. Bondo's all defenseless, but the Farns can take care of himself. Sure.
Rod: "This is weak. He threw that ball right at that boy's head! That is weak."
Mario, as the brawl starts to warm back up: "Guillen is still redhot!"
Rod, defensively: "Well, Hernandez just continues to bait him!
Mario, amazed: "Wow, this is really heating up."
Rod, as the Farns races around toward Affeldt: "There's big Farnsworth now!
Mario: "Oho, now you've got the big one -" He is cut off and much incoherent hollering ensues as the Farns grabs Affeldt. Then, once composed:
Mario, yelling: "Look at this! Oh my goodness! Kyle Farnsworth with a bigtime takedown!"
Rod, also yelling, absolutely beside himself: "You knew when Big Boy got there it was gonna get ON!"
Mario: "And it's on right now. This is turning ugly."
Rod: "There's Farnsworth, you better get him outta there. He'll hurt somebody."
Mario: "Jeremy Affeldt was taken down by Kyle Farnsworth! And Affeldt is no twerp!"
Rod: "Oh, you don't mess with Farnsworth, he ain't no joke."
Mario: "Watch this takedown. Down goes Affeldt!"
Mario: "That is one guy you do not wanna mess with right there. Period. I don't care who you are."
And I shall conclude with a few choice quotes from a few of the Tigers themselves, courtesy of the Associated Press
Pudge: "What he did is not acceptable. A pitcher cannot throw at a player's head. It's not a good thing to do."
Bondo: "I think that's absolutely wrong, throwing at somebody's head. If I hit somebody in the head, I expect someone to do the same thing. You stand up for your teammates because you can end a guy's career throwing at somebody's head.
"He might say he did it on accident, but he still did it. In my opinion, it was totally intentional and you just don't throw at somebody's head." Really, Bondo? You were upset? I wouldn't have guessed.
Craig Monroe: "When you throw at a guy's head, it's no accident. When you go after guys' livelihoods, it's personal."
Brandon Inge: "When you're a big league pitcher, you should be able to throw below the shoulder," he said. "When you throw above the shoulder, it's no accident."
The Farns: Nothing. Good call.
Yes, yes, blah blah, consequences, suspensions, going without our backup closer for who knows how long, et cetera and so forth. Please to not be harshing my buzz. I will deal with the practical problems later. Thank you.
Do I even need to mention how much I love my boys?
Edited because I checked the Detroit News website and found an article so full of great quotes I decided to just copy and paste the entire thing.
DETROIT, by Tom Gage -- When it's a pitch to the head, it's not baseball anymore. It's personal.
It's also dangerous, scary and almost a surefire way for a brawl to break out.
Sunday's game between the Tigers and Royals -- one that erupted into a pile of punching players in the sixth inning after the Tigers' Carlos Guillen was struck in the head by a pitch from Runelvys Hernandez -- got very personal.
The Tigers considered the pitch intentional -- and, according to Pudge Rodriguez, "absolutely unacceptable."
"In my opinion it was totally intentional," said pitcher Jeremy Bonderman, one of three Tigers ejected and possibly facing suspension. "You stand up for your teammates because you can end a guy's career throwing at somebody's head. He might say he did it on accident, but he still did it."
Bonderman, Guillen and relief pitcher / linebacker Kyle Farnsworth were the ejected Tigers. Farnsworth picked up and tackled Royals pitcher Jeremy Affeldt in the second scrum of the brawl.
Hernandez, manager Buddy Bell, catcher Alberto Castillo and outfielder Emil Brown were the ejected Royals.
It wasn't the most vicious fight the Tigers have ever had. Nobody was seriously injured -- including Guillen, who was able to accompany the team to Chicago after undergoing tests at Ford Hospital.
But it was a nasty one all the same.
"I saw some sucker punches," the Tigers' Vance Wilson said. "One of their guys just jumped on the pile and started punching."
Said umpire Dana DeMuth: "There were probably 10 guys in the pile, but all you could see were butts and cleats."
The Tigers lost 5-0, which didn't help their mood. They played a sloppy game, fell behind early and weren't at all satisfied with a four-game split against the last-place Royals.
Most of all, though, they were angry about Guillen's getting drilled. Hernandez said it wasn't intentional, but the Tigers weren't buying that.
"Why would I want to hit anyone in the head?" Hernandez said. "I was coming off nine days off. I had no control."
Said Wilson: "If he said he did it on purpose, he'd get a 20-game suspension. He can deny it all he wants, we saw what happened. No question he meant to come up high."
Bell, who used to manage the Tigers, said he believes his pitcher.
"I asked him honestly to tell me if he was throwing at him and he looked me right in the eye and he said no," Bell said. "I have to believe that. I do believe that."
The Tigers don't, though
They raced from the dugout when it looked as if Guillen might charge the mound, but the worst of the fight broke out when Hernandez and Guillen exchanged words while Hernandez was leaving the field.
"Second flare-ups like that are often the worst," Wilson said, "because then you have all the emotions going. That's when a brawl gets bad."
Emotions were going full throttle in this one, that's for sure.
"I was mad," said Bonderman, who had to be restrained by teammates a couple of times. "He threw at one of our best players and hit him in the head. You can kill somebody, as I said.
"I never swung at anybody, to be honest with you. But I was going after their starting pitcher. That's bull."
To Brandon Inge, intent wasn't even as issue.
"I don't really care," he said. "I don't care if he meant to or not. He's a guy who's buzzed my tower before. You can hit me all day along if you keep it below my shoulders. I won't say a word.
"Above the shoulders, we're going to have words, something is going to happen. We're going to fight. That's just the way it works in baseball."
According to Craig Monroe, the incident won't be forgotten soon. However, sometimes a brawl can even vault a team in the right direction, as an altercation with the Yankees did for the Red Sox last year.
"I have no problem with guys coming inside, brushing guys back, moving our feet, That's the game of baseball," Monroe said. "But when you start playing with people's lives, throwing at their heads, throwing 90-some miles per hour, it's man to man.
"That's no accident. But we're just going to be smart. These guys are in our division; we play them quite a few times. You don't forget things like that. They asked for it, though, so we'll see what happens."
The takedown of Affeldt by Farnsworth (each is 6-foot-4) was something to behold. Farnsworth didn't comment after the game, but Affeldt did.
"It was nothing I said, I don't think," he said. "He must have felt we were there to fight.
"When he came into the pileup the first time, I was bumped by him a little bit from behind. I just turned around and said, `Hey, take it easy.' He asked me if I wanted to fight, and I said, 'No.'
"I wasn't in any mood to fight. Then he came around the pile. He didn't hurt me. We just kind of tumbled to the ground."
Tumbled? Clearly no one to mess with, Farnsworth carried Affeldt several yards as if it were some sort of football drill.
"We call him Superman," Monroe said. "They're barking up the wrong tree with him, I can tell you that."
By now, the Royals know that.
Oh, the brawl. Oh the brawl oh the brawl. I don't even know how many times I've watched it by now, and I am still as giddy as can be. It's so funny, because in real life I'm a pacifist and all anti-violence and shit, but in baseball life? FIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT! And I cannot imagine that I'll see a finer brawl any time soon.
Before the exhaustive blow-by-blow - MLBTV has made footage of the brawl available from both the Detroit and Kansas City feeds. The Detroit feed is the one used for the Top Plays clip, and the KC feed is the actual game in its entirety. I watched the KC one once to hear what their announcers would have to say, but as far as the brawl itself, there wasn't really enough difference in footage to bother watching it more than once, since finding it is a pain in the ass. So, the below account is what I got out of watching the Detroit feed.
Okay. Here's how it happened.
There were a billion HBPs in the game; there had been, I think, three by the time Carlos Guillen was at bat in the bottom of the sixth. Two had been from Runelvys Hernandez, and one (possibly in retaliation) from Mike Maroth, at which point a warning was issued.
Hernandez opens the at bat by hitting Guillen in the foot. It just barely connected, but a hit's a hit, so Guillen tosses his bat aside and backs toward first base, watching the ump and waiting for him to call it an HPB so he can take his base. Except that Marty Foster is blind as shit and tells Guillen to get back in the batter's box. (Good one, Marty. You, Gibson, Guccione, McClelland . . . God, the umpiring sucks this year.) Guillen argues, Alan Trammell goes out to argue, but it's no use, so the at bat continues.
For about three seconds, until Hernandez nails Guillen right in the helmet and sends him to the ground. I usually like to give the benefit of the doubt on these things - how am I to know what was in the pitcher's head, right? But the circumstances and the smooth trajectory of the pitch make it damn clear that he threw at Guillen's head deliberately. There is absolutely no way that was an accident.
Guillen, of course, objects, and Foster and the catcher get in there to hold him back. And just in case there is any doubt left as to Hernandez's intentions, he comes toward Guillen to start a fight. Why would he do that if it had been an accident?
So this causes all hell to break loose. The benches empty and everyone's on the field. And Jeremy Bonderman, whom I love liek wo and even more now, is the most livid of them all. The Tigers third base coach, Juan Samuel, is holding him back, and Bondo's trying hard as he can to fight Samuel off. Samuel hangs on, though, and once or twice (that the camera shows) he actually lifts Bondo up off the ground to turn him back toward the dugout. Bondo's no little boy, dude. He's six foot two and two hundred twenty pounds. Samuel is one strong guy.
Meanwhile, people are holding Guillen back, too. The Tigers bullpen races out to join the action, in an absolutely gorgeous shot that looks almost choreographed for a movie, it's so cool. Samuel hands care of Bondo over to Dmitri Young.
Things seem to be calming down; Guillen is chilling out a little, Bondo does not need Dmitri to grab him, there's a glimpse of Pudge talking someone (Hernandez? It's just a guess based on the hair) down.
And then, Hernandez points at Guillen and says something. And suddenly there are five guys hanging on to Bondo, including Dmitri and Craig Monroe. And the Farns? Oh, the Farns is not happy.
Then - I don't know what happened. The conclusion seems to be that the Royals bullpen was mouthing off, but that's speculation - it's impossible to tell what set the Farns off and sent him toward Affeldt specifically. But it did.
Because the Farns is ready, the Farns is having to be held back by Lance Parrish, but the Farns is not having any of that shit, and he shakes Parrish off and races around the edge of the crowd right to Jeremy Affeldt.
And he bends down, lifts Affeldt right up, and slams him down to the ground, going down along with him.
There is then lots of chaos which includes half the guys on each team jumping onto Farnworth and Affeldt - it's remarkable that those two weren't badly hurt. That breaks up fairly quickly. We see Samuel still patiently clinging, lamprey-like, to Bondo. That guy should get a medal. It's quite possible that he prevented some major damage to our young ace. We see Matt Stairs, the Royals right fielder, talking to the Farns and calming him down, and that is so random that they must have played together at point. We see the Farns pull open the collar of his jersey and look
And it all looks pretty much done; there is an almost-scuffle with Parrish and Royals catcher Alberto Castillo, but they're pulled apart quickly and one of the umps shoves Castillo toward the dugout. Heh.
Once the dust has settled, there are the following ejections: Hernandez, of course; the Farns, also of course; Bondo, which makes sense to me because damn he tried his best to get in there; Guillen, because how dare he react to being hit in the head; the Royals manager Buddy Bell, presumably because of the warning that had been issues; and Royals guy Emil Brown, because WTF? What did he do? Does anyone know?
And all that's just the brawl itself. The experience, at least with the Detroit feed, is enhanced by the commentary. (I wasn't so impressed with the KC feed, although I did enjoy how even they couldn't pretend that the HBP was an accident, and how one of them was trying his hardest not to openly admire the Farns. Hee.) Rod Allen and Mario Impemba are fun to listen to any day, because Rod says incredibly bizarre things and Mario pretends that he doesn't. I've come to like them as much as I like Jerry and Don.
But their commentary for the brawl is fantastic. They are absolutely flabbergasted, without words at times, and they really want to be in the middle of it, and it's pretty hilarious to listen to. So here, under the cut, are some choice quotes from our boys.
Mario: "Any way you slice that, that is a cheap, cheap shot when you come at someone's helmet."
Rod: "I guess he took offense to the fact that Guillen was goin' down to first base."
Mario: "Get Bonderman out of there too, we don't need to get him hurt." This is funny because later, Rod says about the Farns, "You better get him outta there, he'll hurt somebody." Heh. Bondo's all defenseless, but the Farns can take care of himself. Sure.
Rod: "This is weak. He threw that ball right at that boy's head! That is weak."
Mario, as the brawl starts to warm back up: "Guillen is still redhot!"
Rod, defensively: "Well, Hernandez just continues to bait him!
Mario, amazed: "Wow, this is really heating up."
Rod, as the Farns races around toward Affeldt: "There's big Farnsworth now!
Mario: "Oho, now you've got the big one -" He is cut off and much incoherent hollering ensues as the Farns grabs Affeldt. Then, once composed:
Mario, yelling: "Look at this! Oh my goodness! Kyle Farnsworth with a bigtime takedown!"
Rod, also yelling, absolutely beside himself: "You knew when Big Boy got there it was gonna get ON!"
Mario: "And it's on right now. This is turning ugly."
Rod: "There's Farnsworth, you better get him outta there. He'll hurt somebody."
Mario: "Jeremy Affeldt was taken down by Kyle Farnsworth! And Affeldt is no twerp!"
Rod: "Oh, you don't mess with Farnsworth, he ain't no joke."
Mario: "Watch this takedown. Down goes Affeldt!"
Mario: "That is one guy you do not wanna mess with right there. Period. I don't care who you are."
And I shall conclude with a few choice quotes from a few of the Tigers themselves, courtesy of the Associated Press
Pudge: "What he did is not acceptable. A pitcher cannot throw at a player's head. It's not a good thing to do."
Bondo: "I think that's absolutely wrong, throwing at somebody's head. If I hit somebody in the head, I expect someone to do the same thing. You stand up for your teammates because you can end a guy's career throwing at somebody's head.
"He might say he did it on accident, but he still did it. In my opinion, it was totally intentional and you just don't throw at somebody's head." Really, Bondo? You were upset? I wouldn't have guessed.
Craig Monroe: "When you throw at a guy's head, it's no accident. When you go after guys' livelihoods, it's personal."
Brandon Inge: "When you're a big league pitcher, you should be able to throw below the shoulder," he said. "When you throw above the shoulder, it's no accident."
The Farns: Nothing. Good call.
Yes, yes, blah blah, consequences, suspensions, going without our backup closer for who knows how long, et cetera and so forth. Please to not be harshing my buzz. I will deal with the practical problems later. Thank you.
Do I even need to mention how much I love my boys?
Edited because I checked the Detroit News website and found an article so full of great quotes I decided to just copy and paste the entire thing.
DETROIT, by Tom Gage -- When it's a pitch to the head, it's not baseball anymore. It's personal.
It's also dangerous, scary and almost a surefire way for a brawl to break out.
Sunday's game between the Tigers and Royals -- one that erupted into a pile of punching players in the sixth inning after the Tigers' Carlos Guillen was struck in the head by a pitch from Runelvys Hernandez -- got very personal.
The Tigers considered the pitch intentional -- and, according to Pudge Rodriguez, "absolutely unacceptable."
"In my opinion it was totally intentional," said pitcher Jeremy Bonderman, one of three Tigers ejected and possibly facing suspension. "You stand up for your teammates because you can end a guy's career throwing at somebody's head. He might say he did it on accident, but he still did it."
Bonderman, Guillen and relief pitcher / linebacker Kyle Farnsworth were the ejected Tigers. Farnsworth picked up and tackled Royals pitcher Jeremy Affeldt in the second scrum of the brawl.
Hernandez, manager Buddy Bell, catcher Alberto Castillo and outfielder Emil Brown were the ejected Royals.
It wasn't the most vicious fight the Tigers have ever had. Nobody was seriously injured -- including Guillen, who was able to accompany the team to Chicago after undergoing tests at Ford Hospital.
But it was a nasty one all the same.
"I saw some sucker punches," the Tigers' Vance Wilson said. "One of their guys just jumped on the pile and started punching."
Said umpire Dana DeMuth: "There were probably 10 guys in the pile, but all you could see were butts and cleats."
The Tigers lost 5-0, which didn't help their mood. They played a sloppy game, fell behind early and weren't at all satisfied with a four-game split against the last-place Royals.
Most of all, though, they were angry about Guillen's getting drilled. Hernandez said it wasn't intentional, but the Tigers weren't buying that.
"Why would I want to hit anyone in the head?" Hernandez said. "I was coming off nine days off. I had no control."
Said Wilson: "If he said he did it on purpose, he'd get a 20-game suspension. He can deny it all he wants, we saw what happened. No question he meant to come up high."
Bell, who used to manage the Tigers, said he believes his pitcher.
"I asked him honestly to tell me if he was throwing at him and he looked me right in the eye and he said no," Bell said. "I have to believe that. I do believe that."
The Tigers don't, though
They raced from the dugout when it looked as if Guillen might charge the mound, but the worst of the fight broke out when Hernandez and Guillen exchanged words while Hernandez was leaving the field.
"Second flare-ups like that are often the worst," Wilson said, "because then you have all the emotions going. That's when a brawl gets bad."
Emotions were going full throttle in this one, that's for sure.
"I was mad," said Bonderman, who had to be restrained by teammates a couple of times. "He threw at one of our best players and hit him in the head. You can kill somebody, as I said.
"I never swung at anybody, to be honest with you. But I was going after their starting pitcher. That's bull."
To Brandon Inge, intent wasn't even as issue.
"I don't really care," he said. "I don't care if he meant to or not. He's a guy who's buzzed my tower before. You can hit me all day along if you keep it below my shoulders. I won't say a word.
"Above the shoulders, we're going to have words, something is going to happen. We're going to fight. That's just the way it works in baseball."
According to Craig Monroe, the incident won't be forgotten soon. However, sometimes a brawl can even vault a team in the right direction, as an altercation with the Yankees did for the Red Sox last year.
"I have no problem with guys coming inside, brushing guys back, moving our feet, That's the game of baseball," Monroe said. "But when you start playing with people's lives, throwing at their heads, throwing 90-some miles per hour, it's man to man.
"That's no accident. But we're just going to be smart. These guys are in our division; we play them quite a few times. You don't forget things like that. They asked for it, though, so we'll see what happens."
The takedown of Affeldt by Farnsworth (each is 6-foot-4) was something to behold. Farnsworth didn't comment after the game, but Affeldt did.
"It was nothing I said, I don't think," he said. "He must have felt we were there to fight.
"When he came into the pileup the first time, I was bumped by him a little bit from behind. I just turned around and said, `Hey, take it easy.' He asked me if I wanted to fight, and I said, 'No.'
"I wasn't in any mood to fight. Then he came around the pile. He didn't hurt me. We just kind of tumbled to the ground."
Tumbled? Clearly no one to mess with, Farnsworth carried Affeldt several yards as if it were some sort of football drill.
"We call him Superman," Monroe said. "They're barking up the wrong tree with him, I can tell you that."
By now, the Royals know that.
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I could not have said it any better myself. I want baseball brawlage LIEK WO.
And that was a fight to go down in the books. I loved the reactions of the Tigers announcers. "That was WEAK! That was WEAK!" Which it totally was. No one on their right mind would think that was a mistake. Fucking punk-ass bitch.
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