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Date: 2011-01-15 08:13 pm (UTC)1. Cal has an inherently addictive personality. Without the reason MilliCal has to resist that part of him, he's still going to give in to it. The cigarettes aren't a temporary replacement for pot that he'll eventually give up - they're what he focuses his addiction on now instead of pot. He'll probably always smoke, and if he didn't he'd find something worse. He has to learn to kick addiction the hard way, or not at all.
2. Cal is learning early about the reserves of strength he has to draw on, and the things he has been through have caused a radical redefinition of what frightens him, but he's not untouchable. The same buttons can still be pushed; it may take a lot more work, but it's not impossible. I explored this in particular with Obadiah's last visit - he was able to take control of the direct confrontation in a way that had been impossible for him before, but when he had to be careful around Tony, Obadiah still managed to put him on edge. He's going to be more relieved than he'll want to admit when Grahame leaves for LA.
3. He still doesn't think all that highly of himself. Sorry, Sherlock, that's going to be a very long-term project.
4. He's not as stupid as he thinks he is. He's not a genius, either, but he can think, and under Sherlock's influence he does it a lot more than he used to.
5. That sexuality stuff? Yep. And of course, as the clueless and privileged will do, he conflates it with gender issues. Thus, his jumpiness about male homosexuality and tendency to chide himself for being a "bad boyfriend" because he doesn't get jealous like real men are supposed to all sort of stems from the same tangled-up ball of fuckery.
Bonus item, because that reminded me: He's also basically the definition of privileged, and I will totally own up to not always being as good at dealing with that as I should because sometimes it just nails my embarrassment squick. "NO OH GOD CAL DON'T DO/SAY/BE THAT." So I do try to remember it, but it tends to get filtered through my own view of the world and limitations as an RPer.