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So I tried going off the Ambien last night; as I expected, I didn't sleep.
There was a difference, though, between this night and the other nights - I wasn't stressing out. I am pretty much at the point where I have accepted that this is how my life is going to be for a while, so I wasn't wound up about it like I have been before. And I still couldn't sleep. Every time I got close to falling asleep, I just resurfaced. It was an actual physical sensation; the whole experience together reminded me of bubbles in a glass of soda. This problem has been cropping up all along, I think, or at least after the first week or two. It happened last weekend at least once; toward morning I got relaxed and drowsy and still couldn't sleep. Benadryl stopped working, if it ever had more than a placebo effect in the first place, because I couldn't get my brain to join in on the sleepiness.
Clearly my problem is no longer a matter of just calming myself down. I'm going back on the Ambien tonight, without too much compunction, because if I need the help, I need the help. I have a follow-up appointment at the student health center with Ann on Monday (Ann being the nurse practitioner I've been seeing; as it looks now as though she's going to be a part of my life for a while yet, I may as well give her a name), so I can talk to her about it then.
My major problem right this second is that it is now nine AM and I have an entire day to get through before I can Ambien up and go back to bed. At least it's a day with Doctor Who in it.
Also: could I use a few more semi-colons in this post?
There was a difference, though, between this night and the other nights - I wasn't stressing out. I am pretty much at the point where I have accepted that this is how my life is going to be for a while, so I wasn't wound up about it like I have been before. And I still couldn't sleep. Every time I got close to falling asleep, I just resurfaced. It was an actual physical sensation; the whole experience together reminded me of bubbles in a glass of soda. This problem has been cropping up all along, I think, or at least after the first week or two. It happened last weekend at least once; toward morning I got relaxed and drowsy and still couldn't sleep. Benadryl stopped working, if it ever had more than a placebo effect in the first place, because I couldn't get my brain to join in on the sleepiness.
Clearly my problem is no longer a matter of just calming myself down. I'm going back on the Ambien tonight, without too much compunction, because if I need the help, I need the help. I have a follow-up appointment at the student health center with Ann on Monday (Ann being the nurse practitioner I've been seeing; as it looks now as though she's going to be a part of my life for a while yet, I may as well give her a name), so I can talk to her about it then.
My major problem right this second is that it is now nine AM and I have an entire day to get through before I can Ambien up and go back to bed. At least it's a day with Doctor Who in it.
Also: could I use a few more semi-colons in this post?