(no subject)

[catslash]

A post I wrote for customers_suck, because DAMN all my customers took their stupid pills yesterday.

Attention gas station customers:

You know the Voice of God intercom, how it goes off when you begin to pump your gas? Yeah, that is not for my entertainment, it is for your edification. Especially when you hear your gas goddess speaking to you at any other point. Please listen to her. She could be telling you:

* There is difficulty with your prepay and she needs you to hang up the nozzle so she can fix it. Otherwise, you will just be standing there looking stupid and not getting any gas.

* You need to turn off your damn car. She is not kidding here. She, ironically enough for her occupation, does not drive, and even she knows better than to leave a combustion engine running while highly flammable substances are flowing into the car. She will stop your pump and you will not get your gas until you follow her instructions. Eight dollars an hour is not nearly enough for her to shrug and hope you don't blow away everything within a ten mile radius.

* Ditto on the cell phone. She is not so sure on this one, but her manager tells her not to let people use their phones while they're pumping gas, and that is good enough for her. She hates you self-important assholes who can't put your phones away for five minutes to deal with the rest of the human race, anyway.

* If she has had to cancel and restart your gas because you had your car and your phone running and she was forced to come outside and tell you that you are too stupid to have gas you need to follow her instructions before you can pump, and then when she approves your gas and informs you via the Voice of God that "you are all set to pay inside," please do not pump thirty-six dollars' worth of gas and then start to drive away. And when she chases you down and informs you that you need to pay for your purchase, do not snot that "you should have told me that," because she fucking well did, you dumb bint. She gets in trouble for drive-offs because the company is too damn cheap to switch to a prepay-only system, and she does not appreciate your scaring her half to death with the thought of having to explain such a huge amount disappearing.



If you cannot handle any of this, please enlighten her as to how you manage to stand upright and breathe, let alone have your license, because you are clearly so stupid Darwin should have caught up with you long ago.

Comments

[foozled-up.livejournal.com]

...people at mine kept turning their car on while pumping, too. The hell is WITH that?

And dude, points to you for chasing a drive off down.

[subservient.livejournal.com]

mythbusters debunked the myth about cell phones causing gas pump fires.