(no subject)

[catslash]

I made an entry to customers_suck. Here it is.

Dear Sir,

Why, yes, I am in the middle of a transaction. Yes, I know she is taking her time picking out her lottery tickets, but she is a regular with whom I have a friendly rapport, so I'm cutting her some slack. You may wait.

What's that? You would like to be given priority? Well, you only have a quart of milk, and I know Adrienne is nice enough to let you get rung up while she decides - wait, what? The reason you're in such a hurry is because you are doubleparked?

Sorry, sir, but your illegal parking is not my problem. And just because you think it is, be assured that I will allow Adrienne to take her time, and then I will take my time while ringing you up. I don't care that you broke the law, but I do care that you thought your illegal activities made you special.

Hope you got a ticket,
Your Cashier


Dear Madam,

I know you've bought lottery tickets from me before. I remember you because last time you bitched and moaned about our not having the new bingo ticket out yet (because our manager had five hundred other things to do that were rather more important that putting out new tickets two seconds after the shipment finally arrived).

But guess what? Your remark, "I hope you gave me winners this time"? Not funny, not cute, not original. It wasn't funny the first time I heard it, it wasn't funny the fiftieth time I heard it, and it certainly isn't funny on the 10,967th repetition. My failure to pretend that you are in any way amusing was not your cue to lecture me on customer service. You try being cut down to three days a week, worrying about your bills, and dealing with jackasses and morons for the past seven hours, and let's see how much you feel like cracking a fake smile.

Please find some real jokes,
Your Cashier

PS: No, I do not get paid enough for this.

Comments

[heckraiser87.livejournal.com]

Dude, you know what another used to death "joke" is? When you ask if someone found everything they were looking for, and they say, "No! I was looking for a million dollars." And they then expect you to laugh.

[catslash.livejournal.com]

Luckily, I have only heard that one a dozen times or so (enough so that my "darn, we just sold out" sounds jokey instead of annoyed) but you know I hear way too much? Whenever I check a fifty or a hundred dollar bill to make sure it's real, I get some variation on, "Hur hur! Ah just made that in ma basemint this mawrning!" Someday, I'm going to lose my temper and call the cops to report a confession to counterfeiting.

[heckraiser87.livejournal.com]

Oh yeah, I LOVED hearing that one when I was a cashier. Every day I thank god that I am no longer a cashier, although we get our own loonies out on the sales floor.

btw, you got an AIM screen name? I wanna chat with someone during the Tigers' game, and none of my other buddies are online right now. *g*