(no subject)

So. Without checking documentation of any kind, going entirely on my kind of distant knowing of the workings in Boston, I'm going to see if I can figure out who the hell is playing for the Red Sox now.

Lineup:

1B Youk. Youk also bats leadoff. His name causes confused casual viewers around the globe to ask, "Why they booing him?"
2B Loretta. His name brings to mind Dave Barry's version of the "oh god she's dead" genre of soft rock. "Oh Loretta/Why did I letcha/Stand unattended/Near the threshing machine?"
3B Lowell. I like the redsox community's nickname for him, Myglowl. Say it three or four times. It just rolls of the tongue. MR DOUBLES MYGLOWL!
C Apparently we have a problem here. My boy Varitek did bad things to his knee and now he is gone for a while. Happily, I opened my beer before I read about this after work, so I'm okay. So now we have Dougie. Also, they activated Ken Huckaby. I cannot wait to break out the I [heart] Huckabees jokes.
LF Manny. Or possibly Wily Mo. I confess, I can never remember which is right field and which is left. Either way, not Trot. 'Cause he swung that bat damn hard, he did.
CF Coco, yes? He's not injured and replaced with an interchangeable rookie anymore, right?
RF See above. I lose.

Starting Pitching, in no particular order, because at this point in the season I never know the order of the rotation no matter how closely I follow a team:

Schilling, having recovered from his scary '05 self.
Beckett, who I understand is the guy we had to take in order to get Myglowl.
Boomer. Which is kind of a miracle, being as the entire world thought he was finished pitching. I really hope he can get on his game, not only for our sake, but for his own. He's a good pitcher and he deserves a decent end to his career.
Jason Johnson? OH GOD WHY. Although he was decent tonight, so maybe that time in the minors was what he needed. Haha, I made a funny joke.
. . . Kyle Snyder? I guess . . . ? Well. At least he looks like Bronson. Almost as good as pitching like him.

Bullpen:

Seanez and Tavarez. I do not need a psuedo-funny remark here because they've got it covered.
Papelbon. Thank god.
There must be other guys. I do not know their names. None of them appear to be Timlin. Woe.

How'd I do? I didn't come up blank nearly as often as I expected, so either I'm more familiar with the '06 Red Sox than I thought or I just made up a whole lotta crap.

(no subject)

I am going to die.

I worked till midnight, got to bed at six-thirty (a bit late for me, but I was busy), had a hell of a time falling asleep, and then got woken up at quarter of nine by fucking BUZZSAWS at a fucking house being worked on down the street. QUARTER OF NINE. THIS IS A TIME AT WHICH PEOPLE WITH NORMAL SCHEDULES ARE STILL SLEEPING TOO.

Oh, but it's all good, because my manager's boss called me like an hour later to tell me he needs me to write up a statement because some stupid bitch is threatening to file assault charges against my manager, and I unfortunately witnessed part of the incident in question. So, I'll write the stupid thing, and hopefully by the time I'm done, the saws will have gone away because it is nasty today, and I can at least get a nap before work.

This is not a good sign for how this day is going to go, is it?